Chaye Sarah: Genesis 23:1-25:18
Summary: In our portion this week Abraham purchases the cave of Machpelah, in Hebron, in order to bury his wife Sarah. Abraham then sends his servant to his homeland to find a bride for Isaac. The servant meets Rebekah who shows tremendous kindness by offering to draw water for the servant as well as the servant’s camels at the well. The servant meets Rebekah's family and then takes Rebekah to Isaac, who marries her. At the age of one hundred and seventy-five years, Abraham dies, and Isaac and Ishmael bury him with Sarah in the cave of Machpelah together with Sarah.
Lesson: Dating apps seem to ignore the famous saying “Beauty is only skin deep.” In modern day dating apps, we swipe left, or swipe right, based simply on the profile picture. Our Torah portion this week teaches us that beauty isn't about having a pretty face. It's about so much more. Beauty includes having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.
In our portion, after Sarah dies, Abraham sends a servant back to his homeland to choose a bride for his son Isaac. The challenge for the servant was a difficult one. How do you find the most suitable marriage partner? What standards do you use? How do you judge that the person you choose will make a good wife?
When the servant arrives in Abraham’s homeland of Aram he meets Rebekah at a well. The Torah describes her as “tovat mareh – very beautiful.” At first glance, it seems that the servant swipes in the correct direction simply because Rebekah is attractive! However, reading the portion more carefully teaches us that the servant found Rebekah attractive for completely different reasons.
Our rabbinic commentators teach that Rebekah’s beauty was evident in her actions. First, she provided the servant with water, then she ran to get water for his animals. They add that Rebekah carefully thought about each word she spoke, showing concern for the servant as well as for the animals.
For our commentators Rebekah is “tovat mareh”. She is not only physically beautiful, but she is also a beautiful person. She is kind and helpful to the servant even though he is a stranger. She is thoughtful of his feelings and careful in what she says to him. And her concern is not only about him but also about his animals.
It's interesting to note that the Torah never describes her clothing. Her beauty is not in her appearance or her complexion. The details in the Torah focus only on how she treats other people, how she speaks to them, how she offers hospitality, and how she reaches out to aid a stranger and a wanderer visiting her land.
In our modern world we often focus only on the surface, on what is visible, on what is shiny and attractive. Rebekah, in our Torah portion this week, teaches us that beauty in Judaism is so much more than what we see at first glance. Without knowing anything about the servant, and who he served, Rebekah acted with pure kindness. She models for us what it means to act with beauty. She is generous and giving, caring and considerate. Because of these qualities the servant found her beautiful. Because of these qualities Rebekah becomes one of the matriarchs of our people.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Donald Goor