In this week’s Torah portion Sarah dies, Abraham dies and then Ishmael dies. Sarah lived to be 127, Abraham to 175 and Ishmael to 137. Of Abraham, the Torah says va yamot b’savah tovah. He died in a good old age. And then the text repeats the thought zakain v’savayah, variously translated ‘full of age’ or ‘old and contented.’ Traditionally, the repetition was understood to be first an enumeration of the quantity of Abraham’s days and then an evaluation of their quality.
Many years and chapters later Joseph brings his father Jacob down to Egypt. When Jacob is presented to the king, the first thing Pharaoh asks him is, How old are you?” Jacob responds, “130, but few and miserable have been the days of the years of my life.”
So what constitutes a good old age? As I approach another divisible by ten birthday and because I have had the privilege of sharing life with some remarkable role models over the years, I am bold to make a few guesses. What makes a good old age? It’s good health, of course, with a minimum of the aches and pains that reasonably accompany increasing longevity. Continuing economic security for sure. It’s also a great blessing if you have a companion and friends of long standing to accompany you – the people who know you for who you are and who knew you for who you were. It’s good to have others with whom you can reminisce. Attentive but not too attentive family is a decided advantage, and it’s good to find new challenges and diversions at every stage of life.
But consider, both Abraham and Jacob had roughly similar lives. Both had met the challenges and disappointments of spousal infertility, were beset with multiple issues affecting their offspring and they both endured episodes of physical dislocation and hardship. They both knew the pain of personal loss. Both men had amassed considerable wealth in flocks and herds, achieved high status in the estimation of their neighbors, were well taken care of in their advancing years and stood in close with a God who walked with them and blessed them throughout their lives. So how is it that Abraham found contentment in his years and Jacob voiced such discontent with his?
I suppose we should note first that the positive evaluation of Abraham’s life is made by someone else, the narrator of the story in this case and not Abraham himself. Jacob, on the other hand, gives a personal view of all that transpired in his days. So what might look ‘good’ from the outside may not necessarily square with that person’s self-assessment of things at all.
But on rereading the chapters that detail the life of Abraham, I was struck this time by the many instances and the many ways that the text conveys the thought “And Abraham moved on.” Not only in the geographic sense of from point A to point B, but more in the sense of having incorporated the lessons, blessings and opportunities from one stage of his life into his being, he moved on to the next. Maybe perspective comes from the realization that every stage of life has or had its joys and disappointments, that you cannot live exclusively in the past and that the hopeful anticipation of what comes next leads to a feeling of contentment in the end. A favorite line from an old song comes to mind: Every new beginning comes from some other new beginning’s end.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Whiman